Bathroom Rendevous
by JustDestiny
Summary: One-shot. What happens when Darius is found in the girls bathroom with Jude and Karma finds out?


"Jude, get out here, now." Darius exclaimed from outside the bathroom stall Jude was occupying.

"D! Haven't you ever heard of privacy? This is the girl's bathroom; get out!" Jude screamed and proceeded to pull her pants up.

She kicked open the stall door, hoping to hit Darius with it, since she hadn't heard his footsteps go out the door.

"What the hell are you doing in here? You were hoping to catch a glimpse of me with my pants down weren't you?"

"I have a serious problem Jude. I need your help." Darius looked more distraught than she had ever seen him.

"What could possibly be so important that you almost broke down the bathroom door to talk to me?"

"Sadie won't go on a date with me because she says I have no butt. Is that true?"

"I don't know D! I don't walk down the hallway and think 'oh my, that boss of mine sure is lacking in the back'. Seriously Darius, I have never looked at your butt, and I don't ever want to. I don't even want to be thinking about it. "

Before Darius could respond, Karma walked into the bathroom, with Speid in hot pursuit, holding on to Karma's hips. When she saw Jude, then Darius, a weird look crossed her face, and Speid shot out a burst of laughter.

"Way to go Darius. Getting some in the girl's bathroom with Tommy's girl. Don't worry, I won't tell him. I guess you stole our idea; we'll go find a different bathroom. Karma refused to go into the men's bathroom, so that leaves…"

"Speid, if you think you're getting any now, think again. This is far too juicy to ignore. Who should I tell first? I think Tommy would be pretty interested. Maybe Jamie, since that pansy pines for you like a pathetic loser."

"Karma!" Speid exclaimed at the insulting of his best friend.

"Sorry Speidy, but you know it's true. Let's go gossip."

Before Darius could threaten Karma with bodily harm if she said anything, she quickly hurried out the way she came.

"Jude, I need you to tell me if that's why Sadie won't go out with me. Has she ever said anything to you about me?"

"This is getting more ridiculous by the minute. Of course she has talked about you, but not about your ass. She says things like, "Darius has a stick of butter in his office to shine his head, or Darius listens to Celine Dion when he thinks no one is listening." Not ever have I heard out of my sister's mouth that you have a small behind. Is that enough for you? I can't believe I'm talking about this…"

"Jude," she heard from the outside the bathroom door. "Oh crap, this can't be good. Yeah Tommy, in here."

"What exactly is going on here?" he asked when he walked inside, seeing Darius and Jude standing together outside a bathroom stall. "Jude, why are your pants unzipped?"

Jude looked down to see that in her haste to find out why Darius invaded the bathroom, she had forgotten to slide her zipper up.

"Is it that easy to toss me aside for _him_? You could have at least told me you didn't want to be with me instead of having secret trysts in the bathroom while we're working. I can't believe this is what you meant when you said you needed a bathroom break. I thought you were just having a reaction to the chili we had for lunch when you never came back. That was, until Karma came in and told me you were in here screwing your boss."

"Tommy, calm down. This isn't what it looks like. Darius was just asking me about his ass. My pants were unzipped because I was peeing when he walked in, and forced me come out."

"Are you perving on my girlfriend D? That is so not cool."

Glad that Tommy understood so quickly, Jude left Darius to go stand by Tommy. She was leaning up to give him a quick kiss when Jamie walked in, Pagan and Kwest in tow, which was normal since they all were working on Pagan's album.

"Karma didn't say it was a threesome," said Pagan, who was always the epitome of grace. Not. Kwest just raised an eyebrow at Tommy, and Jamie didn't look like he knew what to think.

"Damn Karma can never seem to keep her fat mouth shut. There's nothing going on in here. Darius just had a little problem, and he knew he could find me here."

"Oh," Jamie said, "maybe we can help. What's wrong?"

"Nothing Jamie. Get back to work, all of you. If I wanted your help, I would have asked."

"Well, here's the thing. It seems Darius wants to date my sister, who so kindly refused because she told him his ass was too small. Now Darius here, who is secretly self conscious, came to see if that was true. Turn around D, and let us see that pretty booty. So boys, what do you think? Was Sadie right?"

Begrudgingly, though secretly happy that he could finally get an answer, albeit, a very public one, Darius turned around.

"I think your bum is rather round," Pagan told him. "It's neither small nor large. Definitely a nice bum to have."

Darius just shook his head, but stayed turned around until Kwest and Jamie told him their opinions. He turned his head to look over his shoulder at Jude, who was not looking at him, but into the mirror, fixing her hair.

"Jude, what do you think?"

"Darius, you're nuts if you think I'm going to measure the size of your ass. Tommy and I have more important things to do, like produce an album."

"Yeah, same here," Jamie said, and the three men made an exit. Before the door could fully close, Sadie slipped in the bathroom.

"What's this I hear about a sexcapade in the bathroom?"

"Sadie, Darius put us all through hell because you told him he had an unflattering figure. Thanks for that."

"Oh is that what this is about? I was kidding Darius. I think your ass is great. When do you want to take me on that date?"

"Never. Oh, and Sadie, I think your nose overpowers your face," Darius said before he walked out.

Sadie gasped and looked in the mirror.

"Oh no," Jude said, "here we go again."


End file.
